A Non-Exhaustive List of My Flaws

I think I am smarter than you. I don’t think I’m a genius. I couldn’t work at NASA. My life dreams of being a doctor or FBI agent are gathering dust. And, until this year I didn’t know how to go to the drive thru at the bank. But, I can think more rationally than anyone I know. I know why your arguments sucks and I don’t even say anything because its a waste of time. So, for the entire time we know each other I will feel isolated because its not nice to point out the holes in someone’s reasoning, its not how regular people talk and I want your approval more than I want to be right.

I also think I’m deeper than you are. I like, ‘get’ Whitman. You have conversations about what you did today. It’s okay, I can ‘get it’ for the both of us, but I’m probably subconsciously rolling my eyes. Like, constantly.

I think drama is funny. If someone is picking fights with me or has boyfriend drama its pretty boring. That’s not what I’m talking about. I think drama is funny. Like, when we posted the different types of feminists on Thought Catalog and they had to disable the comments section because people are so freaking wound up about feminism. Kind of just sent it to my friend and said ‘I made a funnie.’

I’m a homebody, but I’m busy all the time. I don’t have time for you. I see my friends every day. My best friend (and other 1/2 of phiLOLZophy) is sleeping in my bed every other night. Basically, by the time I have time to hang out with you I am exhausted and I want to lay in my bed while you rub my back and tell me stories.

I’m insecure. I’m excitable. I’m confident when I’m in my arena, but when I’m picking up on someone’s should-i-stay-or-should-i-go attitude it drives me completely crazy. Make up your mind okay? Or else I’ll continue doubling down on trying to impress you. Gross.

I’ve gotten in a bar fight. LOL.