IRL Conversation About Foreskin

One thing that’s great about having smart friends is you get to have interesting conversations all day. So today the brother of one of my friends was circumcised and apparently one of my other friends has very strong views about how circumcision is ‘mutilation’ because there’s no reason to do it other than aesthetic preference.

And behold the best of comments from our foreskin fight:

DUDEBRO: “REST IN PIECE THAT BROS FORESKIN. Don’t even get me started on foreskin. Don’t even.”

DUDEBRO 2: “I always talk about foreskin.”

GIRLBRO: “No foreskin politics on our trip this weekend.”

DUDEBRO: “First of all, how is it even political? It’s a matter of MUTILATION VS. NOT MUTILATION. You are pro circumcision and it hurts my feelings. :(“

GIRLBRO 2: “I hate it when people talk about it like genital mutilation. It’s like when white people complain about racism.”

DUDEBRO: “but part of your dick gets chopped off”

GIRLBRO 2: “oh whatever, when they do it to girls they cut your whole clit off so sex is painful and you can never orgasm, ever.”

GIRLBRO: “it might be a type of genital mutilation, but it is different than the hatred-and-oppression motivated mutilation that happens to women that renders them totally unable to have sex. i just think it’s a bit of a sensational comparison that downplays what makes female genital mutilation so horrifying.”

DUDEBRO: “It’s still chopping your dick off and making sex less pleasurable. And it’s done for stupid reasons.”

GIRLBRO: “You can’t dock without a foreskin I think.”

GIRLBRO 3: “True story: I have never seen an uncircumcised one can someone show me this weekend? A short tutorial would be helpful. Also while we are at it could I get a balls tutorial too those things are really confusing.”

GIRLBRO: “A penis is like 80 clits. I would like to have a dick for a week circumcised or not.”

DUDEBRO: “Sorry, I’m cut. So is everyone that’s coming this weekend I think. NO DOCKING FOR YOU.”

GIRLBRO 3: “But you have balls though.”

DUDEBRO 2: “TOO BAD I WONT BE THERE.”

GIRLBRO 2: “Do dockers wear dockers to self-identify?”

DUDEBRO: “no, they wear extra sexual pleasure while they’re fucking.”

DUDEBRO: “Also I think that if the tables were turned and men were deciding whether or not women should be circumcised there would be a huge uproar from the women.”

GIRLBRO 2: “Why did doctors invent circumcision?”

DUDEBRO 2: “Mainly for religious reasons which is why it’s crazy.”

DUDEBRO 2: “If you guys come out soon and get me drunk enough I might whip it out in a bathroom for you.”

GIRLBRO: “It always is men deciding that women should be circumcised and there is a huge uproar.”

DUDEBRO: “Yeah that’s what I meannnnnn. And not liking uncircumcised dicks because they’re ‘gross’ or something is totally offensive.”

GIRLBRO 2: “You are right about how not liking it because its gross is totally wrong. I wish it was more okay to feel uncomfortable because then i wouldn’t have a preference i would just be like um what do i do?”

GIRLBRO: “Yeah the only real reason for male circumcision it would seem is aesthetic preference, but for women it is because people want to stop them from being “sluts” and make them unable to have sex. women still do all kinda weird stuff down their to make their vag’s more aesthetically pleasing to men. but yes none of them is lopping off the outside.”

DUDEBRO: “can’t we leave women out of it? why are we comparing? can’t male circumcision be wrong independently?”

DUDEBRO 2: “Am I the only one that gets a little creeped out when circumcised dicks look like Neapolitan Ice Cream?”

GIRLBRO 3: “I have noticed that too. one of my exes had a hack job.”

DUDEBRO: “Jesus.”

DUDEBRO 2: “Sometimes (in porn, I’m lonely) I’ve seen ones where there seem to be honest to god color blocking going on. I don’t really know what causes this, but there are like color divisions.”

DUDEBRO: “ i googled Neapolitan dicks and all i found were photos of pizza.”

DUDEBRO 3: “I think most Westerners are getting beyond this, but the debate over female genital mutilation just to involve the question of whether condemning it is ethnocentric. Now most people put it in the just-plain-wrong category, but I can see people in those cultures thinking there’s a whiff of ethnocentrism in Americans saying, okay, the way YOU mutilate kids’ genitals is wrong, but the way WE do it is just fine.”

DUDEBRO: “Maybe it was partly “medical” and doctors wanted just another thing they could charge for. Tomorrow, lets drunkenly talk about how doctors are evil and have turned pregnancy into a Big Business medical procedure.”

DUDEBRO 2: “One more final inappropriate conversation: I NEVER HAD TO SNEAK KY INTO MY ROOM AS A TEEN. Boom. Money saved.”

DUDEBRO: “Maybe that’s a misconception on your behalf thinking that all cut guys need lube. BOOM.”

DUDEBRO 2: “I guess I wouldn’t know!”