Things I Want to Do in 2012 If The World Is Really Gonna Explode or Something

We are super superstitious. Like, when there is a bad day involved we go to the city park in the dark and play tarot cards or arrange our statue of the Mayan ruins and the Virgin Mary on our coffee table and burn some sage. So, you know, the world might end this year. We’re considering the possibility and thinking about some things we need to accomplish if that’s going to happen:

Meet someone who is awesome at sex. Seriously though.

Eat Soho Cafe every day on the floor of my best friend’s apartment while watching TJ Lavin host MTV challenges.

Not waste my time dating dummies because that is what I think I am supposed to be doing. On the list of things I do to occupy my time, I earnestly feel like working is more fun.

Meet more alt lit people because they are so dopey and happy and fun.

Perform “Friends in Low Places” with all my non-hipster friends at karaoke.

Not spend time worrying about: my hair, my outfits, what people think about how I look, if everyone is having a good time, if he’s gonna call, “the future”, etc.

Be personally responsible for reviving the glory of Britney Spears circa 2003.

See Titanic 3D.