When it comes to people and relationships, I’m an impulse shopper. I might not be in the market, but if I see something bright and shiny I have to have it. I’d rather bring it home and try it on in my own house because the mirrors at the store lie and you need to evaluate stuff in a real environment. I form static opinions, unlikely to change. There’s no redemption for people I decide are assholes within seconds of meeting them, or stupid because they can’t make an introduction. The same goes for good people. If I meet you in an agreeable light, you’re going to have to shake that nice guy image.
I think being disappointed in someone is the worst kind of feeling because it’s so final. It’s an abrupt end to a story you’ve been working on because once you have that paradigm shift, you can’t go back.
Being disappointed in someone isn’t just learning more about them. When you get to know someone you learn funny little tidbits and quirks and sometimes a lot of information you wish would be more appealing, but on the whole it fits with who you know that person to be. Disappointment is wholly ulterior to the person you thought you know. They’ve jumped the tracks of your extrapolation and you are left deciding what to do with the wreckage.
It’s hard to be an idealistic person because in one sense it’s a good thing to be hopeful and it’s a voice that needs to be heard in a snark-happy time but it also necessarily means you are going to be disappointed when you encounter the crevasse or chasm between your idealism and reality. You can be too hard on people. You can be too hard on yourself.
I think before you cross the point of no return with becoming disappointed in someone you need to consider your own expectations. Part of falling short is falling, which means you must have held them at some altitude of esteem.