I have a dream about a new social networking site that’s as big as Twitter and Facebook where when someone wrongs you you put it on their profile. It has their picture and personal information on it and you can say like “this person cheated on me” and they have to be accountable for their actions in front of everyone. Shady people can’t hang out in the dark in the age of the internet!
So like, what I would like to blog about is about this guy I know and it is really killing me not to post his name because I really think he needs to answer to the kind of person he is and face reality, but I won’t. He just got married over the weekend and my newsfeed is all these people talking about how happy he is going to be with his wife. He’s not going to be happy with her though? It’s really fucking annoying.
He met this girl in February one year, about a month after we started hanging out. As of August of that year he was still hanging out with me, this girl, and because it’s his wedding weekend another acquaintance of mine just told me he was trying to date her as well this month.
The thing is, dude is slippery as fuck. I met him right after college where I was super sheltered from shady characters so I had no idea how to judge people in the real world. He talked about being close to his family and bragged about what a nice guy he was and how many times he had bought flowers or done sweet things for his ex girlfriends so I appropriated the nice guy title on to him. I even think he genuinely thinks he is a nice guy.
But, being insecure doesn’t make you nice. Needing attention so badly you regularly carry on somewhat serious relationships with two or more people definitely doesn’t make you nice, it makes you panicked and really fucking un-self aware. It bugs me that this is masquerading as his happy ending, like this girl made an honest man out of him. It’s a show. He can’t keep his nice guy image up if he is a 35 year old bachelor, people will know how damaged he is. I know he’s going to cheat on her again, because he hasn’t fixed the things about him that make him so dependent on affirmation.
I don’t want to be a person that is cynical about the goodness of people. I don’t want to think guys are naturally predatory or shady and I’m kind of pissed off that he is making me do this. But I just want some kind of public record about this real guy that everyone thinks is so nice. He’s using you too.